My Greatest Accomplishment: Being Bold And Taking A Chance
A year ago, I started my journey to intentionally seek my purpose, my identity, and my passion. While working at my first real job out of college, I worked as a Program Coordinator for a local sustainability organization. My choice for this job made sense being that I used to volunteer here while in college. I love the environment, always been outdoorsy, and helping my community to learn skills to protect and engage with the environment seemed like the perfect fit.
WHERE MY JOURNEY STARTED
Over time, my organization did not satisfy my needs. However, I still did great work! I was training volunteers, connecting with local leaders in sustainability, and even mentoring a new intern. Over time, the organization began to enter a stage of transition...the CEO was asked to step down by the Board of Directors and was only given 5 days to compile her work to pass over to an interim leader.
The morale of my organization began to plummet. I remember the CEO coming to my desk the day before she was asked to leave. She was very emotional and distraught about the organization. She told me not to feel obligated to stick around that that I should consider the possibility of seeking another job. At this point, having my CEO tell me this personally at my desk, I felt very vulnerable. Immediately, I start to rationalize the meaning of it all, asking myself, “why did this happen”?
THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ON LIFE SO FAR
On the day my CEO put in notice, I asked to leave early. I had to seek out my own reasoning for how I ended up at this point, with this job, and at this organization. Before deciding to go home, I drove to Walmart and bought some supplies: colored permanent markers, tape, and a roll of giant paper. As I made it back to my apartment, I rolled the giant paper on my living room floor and taped the sides down to keep it from rolling away and played music on my bluetooth speaker.
I didn’t know what I was doing, but this felt right somehow…
I sat on the paper itself, wanting to feel my thoughts and not just write them. At first, I wrote down the things I liked. Favorite artists: Beyonce, Justin Timberlake, Kanye West, etc. Then I listed movies, then music genres, TV shows, and so on. Just a short list. Then I wrote about my life growing up in Tucson, Arizona and moving to Phoenix. I wrote about the sports I played while attending Navajo Elementary School in Scottsdale and how I felt when we played flag football (my favorite sport at the time).
After a short while, the memories simply flowed. I didn’t have to force it on myself anymore. Everything I could think of just hit the page without any judgment or reason. There it was. There I was.
I started to map my life. When I hit a new thought, I switched colors to keep track of new ideas.
Hours passed. I was still going, not even thinking of the time. I felt freedom in the process of trying to understand my own existence. The boldness in this point in time came in the very next step…I decided it was time to quit my job. I was unhappy, the organization was steadily failing, and I had to do something about it. From this time, my life began to change in ways I couldn’t imagine…a story for another time.
But for now, I invite everyone to take a bold choice at least once in life. Carefully weigh the risks, but still, take a chance on yourself. Because all that happened next over the next year changed me forever.
Sincerely,
Tyandrah Ashley
